Pokemon the Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Itself Due to Confusion!
The movie opens with a bunch of nerds going crazy over finally winning the science fair by cloning legendaries on the GTS. They got a hacked Mewtwo that hatched out of a Bad EGG and it started going nuts, ruined their Elite Four records, duplicated their fifth item, and broke their game in the end. Then it fled like a jerk, though since Giovanni saw it, he could check his Dex to see if he was on the same route as it. He was, and flew his kickarse helicopter down with style. He offered said Mewtwo a cut of his stock if he wore some gaudy armor and made stuff float. Since Mewtwo was kinda bored, he said, "naw, forget it, go home to Bel-Air!" After a montage or two, Mewtwo got P.O.'d because Giovanni didn't offer health insurance and blew up his workplace. Now on the terrorist no-fly list, he fled.
Cut to Ash, Brock, Mesty, and of course, the ever-adorable PIKACHU. As always, Brock was the man, and some guy from Team Aqua came up and tried to dance with Ash, but lost. Then a fat Dragonite fell out of the sky with some spam E-mails that Ash stupidly opened. It was an invite to Google Wave, so Ash accepted and proceeded to aimlessly walk to a town.
Mewtwo, in the mean time, is seen getting bored and screwing with the weather to fire as many weathermen as he could for predicting inaccurately.
So then this Russian chick tells a story about the second coming of the evil one or some crap and a few trainers decide to try to go to Mewtwo's Castle because their player's guides told them he was there. Ash, not having any badarse travel pokemon, used the walk-on-water code with a few Repels to save time. Team Rocket showed up, too, but that's just because there's some weird code on the edge of the island that made pokemon appear that weren't supposed to.
Meanwhile, Mew is summoned from someone trying to Fly away from a battle with this guy having a Slowpoke. It wakes up and flies to the castle to try and make the information on the Pokemon site more accurate.
Ash reaches the castle finally and meets the other people who actually have decent pokemon, watches Mewtwo descend in a badarse way and taunt everyone so they couldn't use non-attacking moves, then laughs because he has Calm Mind and Recover, what the crap are you trying to pull, guys? Anyway, since Mewtwo had a Game Genie, he put on the "unlimited life" code and made fun of everyone.
Team Rocket sneaks into the castle and finds all the codes Mewtwo wrote down, including his pokesav info to make pokemon with perfect 31 IVs. Soon, Mewtwo summons them to fight, and of course they win because they were EV trained properly and have the right natures. The trainers get P.O.'d but lose half of their money any way. Mewtwo then uses the 'steal pokemon from trainers' code to steal all their pokemon and clones them with Pokesav.
So then Ash pours a Coke on Mewtwo's flash cart and gets the original pokemon back, except now that their happiness is back to 0, they just do some dumb fighting with their clones instead of intelligently fleeing. Then Mew appears, calls Mewtwo's mom some bad names, and the two have a thumb war.
Cue some sappy music and family values, and then the oil hits the fan -- Mew pins Mewtwo's thumb for almost 3 seconds and Mewtwo casts Petrify from FFVI, but misses and hits Ash. Just when the movie got good, the pokemon all turned into Twilight vampires and got sparkly, then someone used a Gold Needle and Ash came back to life (dang). There was some bro-bro hugs and Mewtwo left to go play Shoddy.
After a fade to black, someone tests the movie to see if it's fully rewound, which it's not, so we see Ash back at the one building before leaving for the castle. Only he used Amnesia to raise his Special Defense, but it made him forget the plot. Oh well. He'll get the bad ending, I guess.
THE END