Pokemon 2000: Are There Seriously 2000 of Them Now
FADE IN. Someone's reading another one of those Nostradamus predictions about the end of the world, and that person is this guy with algae hair and a gigantic airship he stole from some JRPG. He banters on about Spanish number birds and how he traded his stamp collection for pokemon and needs to Catch 'em All!(TM) So, his computer tells him Moltres is a dork and hiding on some island. Feeling lucky, he shoots Ice Man's power to freeze the island. Moltres wakes up, eats a few Habanero peppers, and starts breathin' fire, swooping up to attack the jerk who disturbed his vacation. However, the guy shoots out some hula hoops that Moltres can't keep going, and so he gets caught and taken aboard the Airship Helgady.
Meanwhile, Ash, Misty, and some dork who wishes he was Brock are currently on a boat (with their flippy-flops). Their pokemon get out for like 3 minutes when the weather starts puking out violent tendencies, so the pokemon are put back, a wave of Magikarp wreck some stuff, and the boat makes it to some island in the middle of friggin' nowhere. Team Rocket gets their sub wrecked again and has to start a side quest to find the parts for it.
The island is inhabited by a bunch of lunatics who have some festival where they dance hula and pretend to be in a Zelda game. A girl named Melody comes out and plays Saria's Song on a secret decoder Ocarina and Ash is captivated (don't worry, he's not holding a Destiny Knot). Misty "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!"'s and starts to bicker with Melody about her abysmal sex life while Ash accepts some quest to be the Chosen One. This quest involves a lot of sailing, so he buys a sail from some eskimo, changes the direction of the wind, and sets off for the first island he has to go to: Fire Island!
He and this chick get to the island, but wreck their boat because Moltres apparently left his water on and the ocean started overflowing. Anyway, Ash runs up to the shrine, steals an orb relic from it, defaces the statue there, and starts to head back when Misty, Melody, and that dumb guy show up in a boat from the staircase. (I think this is why her license was revoked?) Anyway, they argue about who gets to get to second base with Ash when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it's friggin' Zapdos! Zapdos rubs some drier sheets together and makes all sorts of static shocks. Pikachu talks to the bird, the bird talks back, and dictates: "Moltres ran out of money, so I paid the bank for his properties and his Get out of Jail Free Card." Then Green-hairy McSkyship shows up and abducts Zapdos and our heroes.
Inside the ship, the guy has Pokeymans, and he shows them to Ash. Then the ship says his Hot Pockets are done, so he leaves to eat them and catch Articuno. Ash and company feel bad that this jerk caught the only legendaries and tries to get Zapdos out because he's in the OU tier and clearly better. Zapdos realizes he can use his Get Out of Jail Free card, does so, and springs out Moltres to be a target while he slips away. They bust through the guy's ship just as he's pissing off Articuno. The collector's ship gets wasted, and he curses his luck, raising his attack and defense while lowering his speed. The birds start fighting with each other over who was the most annoying to get to in R/B/Y.
Meanwhile, Prof. Oak starts flirting with Ash's mom when the weather goes nuts, Professor Oak gets his bike stolen by Diglett, and Mr.Mime violates his profession by talking. They decide to go see what the heck Ash did this time to screw the world up, he probably caught Missingno. or something dumb.
Back to the Orange Islands, the airship Ash is on lands on Thunder Island, so Ash goes and steals the orb there, but has to defeat an Electrode because dang, the dumb items look the same on the overworld. The birds see this, shoot stuff at him, and he flees back to the main island. There, he sees a Slowking who's exposing himself to the audience, so it's kinda gross. Ash puts the stolen merch in little holes to hide them, but realizes he still needs an Ice Orb so he can use the Combine feature and make the merchants buy it at a high price. All of a sudden holy lush! It's Lugia! Lugia tells Ash he's special ed and has to save the world (maybe make a backup on a flash cart?). Suddenly collector guy decides to shoot more hula hoops at Lugia, who freaks the crap out and uses Explosion, which destroys the guy's ship. Lugia fainted! Use next pokemon?
So Prof. Oak starts flying down in a helicopter and sees a crapton of pokemon migrating to the islands. "They all want to be there," he explains to a TV cameraman. "You see, if they're a part of the battle, they get free experience."
So Ash and Pikachu forego flying on Charizard to the next island for whatever dumb reason and instead make a snow sled out of coconuts Gillian's Island-style. They get about halfway there when Bulbasaur gets a snake bite, Squirtle dies of Cholera, and the birds seal off his way in. Team Rocket decides to be useful and make this rad hovercraft using Banjo-Threeie plans and they get to Ice Island.
On the main island, Melody plays the Song of Healing, turning Lugia into a mask, which falls on a Magikarp which turns into Lugia again, at full power. Lugia flies over to Ash, who takes the last orb, uses HM02 to teach Lugia Fly, and flies back to the main island. He puts the last orb in place, Melody plays Zelda's Lullaby, and all of a sudden some biohazardous waste seeps out of the ancient statues and poisons everything. With Toxic conditions, the legendary birds use Rest back on their islands, Lugia levels up and learns Aero Blast, and Ash saves the day again. His mom shows up and embarrasses him in front of his friends, which is the moral of the movie: god mom come ON stop embarrassing me, I'm 15 years old already, I can make my own decisions!
THE END