Pokemon 4Ever and Ever: Something about Celery
We start in the Lost Woods where this kid named Sammy is trying to find the Master Sword Ball or something when he gets accosted by this lady cosplaying as a white mage. She warns him about the Goddess of the Forest that he's about to go into. Apparently she plays Red Light, Green Light, 'cos he's supposed to stay still until she stops yelling at him. Whatever. That chick's crazy.
Cut to a Celebi, holy crap! Why doesn't she ever come to America? Probably because there are dudes like this hunter guy with Scythers and Houndooms beating the stuffing out of her. Right when the guy has her burned and Scyther uses False Swipe, Sammy uses Kung Fu to dropkick the pokemon and steals Celebi. Suddenly Celebi remembers it's daylight savings time. Fall backward, Spring 40 years ahead~
Feeling hungry for more opening-credits-battle action, we go to Misty and Brock (who's back, FINALLY), waiting on Ash's dumb arse to stop flirting with this Australian underaged boy. Eventually he comes and joins the others on a boat, but not before propelling himself in a suicidal rage into the boat's rudders. Unluckily, he is caught and taken aboard. This boat driver then tells the group some BS about how great his boat is and how there are like 20 rare pokemon but you have to have the National Dex and the Pokeradar to find them. Ash in the mean time isn't paying attention (his specialty besides quaterback-tackling any problems he ever gets into) and sees Suicune in the forest, wow! Too bad Kurt is taking forever to make those dumb Quick Balls.
Anyway, the group decides to go with the boat guy because he did one of those 'Yes/No' questions that repeat themselves until you say yes. They stop in town first and hack Prof. Oak's system, charging a lot of expensive overseas phonecalls to his account before finally calling him out of boredom. He told them some fairy tale about how Suicune can use Brita Filters to purify water. Amazing. It was time to go on the boat, though!
While on the boat, they motor through a river system before inflating the vessel into an airship, battle some Sinistrals, beat the Ancient Cave, and finally land in Tree Top Town. They leave the area to go to the next level (Vulture Culture), but get accosted by an old lady who's cosplaying as a really dated White Mage. Brock hits on her grandkids and they leave into the forest before the fuzz show up. Suddenly there's a palette swap in the forest and a kid appears! It's Sammie, who passed out from too much drinking. Ash and company carry him out because holy heck is he wasted
Elsewhere, this guy gets his house wrecked by a crazy team rocket hunter guy who maxes out his pokemon and uses OU crap like Tyranitar and Bullet Punch Scizor. He cooks marshmallows over the guy's roasting house before leaving to find Celebi so he can try and barter a shiny EV'd Salamence.
They reach the old woman's house when the kid wakes up and gives Ash a German Suplex. Ash starts to grab the chair, but Brock calms them down. They leave to look for Celebi because apparently the kid had the Wondercard for the event. Inside the forest, they find Celebi, who's only like L:5, so they're afraid to fight it because it'll probably faint. Team Rocket falls out of a tree, the hunter guy blows some crap up with TTar, and they flee, beating up his pokeymans because he used Rare Candies instead of training them normally. Also what the crap, this kid stores his pokemon in grenades, ahaha history is hilarious
Eventually they follow Smokey the Ursaring to this lake where Celebi drowns and respawns in 5...4...3...2...1...ok, good. She flies around, pummels Ash and Sammy in the face a bit, then feeds them these berries that make them happier but reduce their EVs. After a while they're walking aimlessly and the hunter guy finds them again, steals Celebi, and wills her to the Dark Side of the Force. She makes this badarse vine dealie which rapes the forest good and starts creating a paper mill business. Ash and Sammy get on their horse, find the Colossus, climb into it, and tell Celebi that she has to be good or else Santa won't come! Celebi brushes them off and Suicune shows up to save the day and advertise for Pantene with his ever-flowing locks. The three manage to calm Celebi by giving her some webspace as the domain Serebii.net and she turns good again, making the hunter fall down a hole and go back to the last door he went through.
They reach the lake again, but Celebi turns into a raisin. They ask Suicune to purify the lake, so Suicune lifts his leg and does his business. However, the lake water does nothing! Everybody starts crying because let's face it, it worked in the first movie. However, it doesn't here, and everyone's about to give up hope when suddenly God opens the sky and hacks the game to replace all the wild pokemon with Celebis as Celine Deon sings an overture. Celebi gets a Max Revive, but then gets caught by New Fassad...or wait I guess it's that hunter guy again, oh well. He starts blasting off with a rocket pack when Ash grabs on and hits him for 100 points in the crotch. They both fall, but Celebi sprinkles magic faerie dust on Ash and they go to Neverland. When Ash and Celebi return after beating Capt. Hook, Celebi pops herself and Sammy in a DeLorean and go Back to the Future...or the past. Whatevs. The hunter? Oh, he fell over 300 feet and probably died of severe internal organ trauma.
Later, Ash gets back and calls Prof. Oak to see if his mom's still sleeping over there. Oak yells at Ash for never actually catching any of these dumb legendaries he sees, honestly, who runs away from one-time pokemon? However, he told Ash he had surveillance cameras up so he knew about Sammy, which was actually a feral clone of his from another dimension in the past. Man, no wonder the present day is so screwed up.
THE END